Three Solo Traveling Tips If You’re an Introvert
I know. The title of this post sounds irrelevant now during the time of Corona, and God knows how we miss traveling so bad. But this year, I kinda celebrate the 10th year of my first time solo traveling. Yes, it may sound like a pathetic celebration but, trust me, for an introverted person (and might be autistic), it was one important milestone in my life that has changed the way I think and behave, and feel about myself.
I’ve always been an introvert. Despite living in a country where collectiveness and togetherness is a culture, I like to spend most of my time by myself and barely speak to other people, and I’m comfortable with that. I often get anxious when in groups. However, contrary to the general stereotype of an introvert, I do enjoy traveling. The first time I realised that I enjoy traveling was when I was 25, or ten years ago. After three years of working in a multinational firm here, let’s just say that I changed my priority. I decided that it was time to take a break and rethinking what I was gonna do next in life. At that time, I was living in Jakarta where everyone was always in a rush, and I thought, it’s gonna be hard slowing down in this environment. I got no career or relationship commitment waiting for me, so I guessed it’s time to try something new: traveling by myself.
I did not plan to go abroad. I bought a one-way ticket to Bali and Lombok, contacted some old friend to crash his couch, tried to find some locals to meet on Couchsurfing, and that’s it. Remember, it was 2010 in south-east Asia. No travel blog on Instagram or YouTube. Only websites on my laptop and Google Maps on my phone — which sometimes inaccurate.
At that time, I didn’t know that I was possibly autistic all along, meaning that my social and communication skills was impaired, well, according to most people’s standard — and I didn’t realise that. So, looking back now, I would say that it was both a very bold step and stupid of me for planning such thing.
They might sound stupid, but these are the lesson and tips based on my experience:
For Most Of The Time, Find A Local As Your Guide
Join some online travel community before your trip. Or, as a good friend of mine said, a local community whose members have the same interest or hobby as you. This is to find some local people who are hopefully willing to give you some local tours and experiences, either free or paid. I became a member of Couchsurfing prior to my travel, and thankfully, found a local who was willing to meet me in Bali. For me, it’s best to spend a few days with him/her, and then explore the area by myself for the rest of my visit. When I’m with a local, I try my best not to be so formal. By ‘formal’ I mean I try to build a connection as if to someone whom I intent to be a friend. This is someone whom maybe you won’t see again for the rest of your life, so you got nothing to lose. Why not make it a memorable experience?
You see, one of the benefits of an online community such as Couchsurfing is that as an introvert, you can search for locals who, based on their profiles and reviews, are likely to be introverts too, or people who share the same interest with you, whatever it is. It doesn’t have to be people who like parties, come to member gatherings, etc like that. And based on my experience, I did found some people who I think I would never see them again in person for the rest of my life, but we talked about stuff that I barely had with my friends back home. Like, deep intimate conversations about life. And I miss them.
Another thing that I found very useful is to show that you’re a bit lost or in doubt, quite literally, and ask for help from strangers or locals or wait until someone offer you one. It’s not always working, but it’s worth trying at least for the sake of building your self confidence as an introvert. I have a few experiences on this, and I remember coming back from those trips feeling victorious. I felt that I’ve built a connection with some strangers. It’s a good feeling. I think I remember reading something on Tim Ferriss’ “The 4-Hour Workweek” that might relate to this. More of less: if people see you nervous, they’ll lower their guard. The main purpose here is not to get the right direction to the place you’re trying to find, but to use that as a conversation starter. If it’s not working, who cares. You’ll never gonna see them again anyway.
Loosen Up Your Itinerary
Maybe you’re one of those people who likes planning in details. Therefore, a strict travel itinerary. And you try your best to get them all done.
Don’t.
You have to have some flexibility in your schedule. This is not only to anticipate if there’s something unexpected happened during your trip, but also to intentionally give you more time to slow down and feel your surrounding. If you travel solo, there would be no one you can rely on so you have to trust yourself and your senses. In fact, this is probably one of the reasons why people traveling solo. A sensation that you feel when you’re alone in a foreign land. A mix feeling between excitement, curiosity, some fear, and maybe the question of “What the hell am I doing here?”. And in order to get that feeling, it’s better to slow down. Also, who knows, maybe you’ll find some interesting local or fellow traveler to hang out with.
On the contrary, don’t be too open or flexible with your itinerary. Still, do some good and detailed research about the cities you’re planning to visit. The reason why this is important is that if you’re an introvert, it’s likely that you have your own hobby or interest that are probably different to your friends’ — or you want to try something new. You don’t want to miss that in your itinerary. Probably you’ll find a hidden gem or a unique attraction, I don’t know. But, again, you don’t want to miss that.
If Possible, Stay In A Private Room Or At Your Friends’ During Weekends
I hate bunk beds. I really do. But sharing a room in a hostel is something you’re gonna have to deal with if you’re traveling on a budget, right?more bunk beds, less money to pay. However, I would argue that during the weekends, it’s much better to stay in a private room or at your friend’s — if any, especially if you’re staying downtown near the city centre. Or you can also choose a hostel farther in a quieter area (such as in the mountain or a national park if you’re into hiking). Other than safety reason, during the weekends especially in major travel destinations, there would be more crowd in the area. More party, more loud noises, etc. It’s very uncomfortable. You know, for most of the time as an introvert, the crowder it gets, the lonelier you’ll feel. Also, maybe there’ll be some drunk guests sharing a room with you, coming back from a party late at night and disturbing your sleep. You don’t want that.
I don’t know if I’m making sense in those tips. However, it’s important to point out that solo traveling is not merely traveling per se, and it’s not a bad thing at all. I know people who said that solo traveling is a sad thing, thinking that you don’t have any friend to go with or that you’re just plain weird. They’re wrong. Solo traveling is one of the best ways to figure out the other side of you, even if you are an introvert. You’ll feel more confident with yourself, at least that is what I felt. I mean, still introvert and not very talkative, but bolder. You know what you want, better than before. And it helps you to dare making bolder choices in your life.
