Dealing with Mental Health: Why You Should Only Trust Yourself and Nobody Else

Yes. Including your parents, your siblings, your best friends, your partner, boyfriend/girlfriend, anyone.

Why?because at some point, they will disappoint you. It doesn’t matter whether it’s your fault or theirs. It’s human nature. Nobody’s perfect, and people change.

Just the other day I watched a documentary on BBC Indonesia’s YouTube channel about teenage boys who committed suicide in Singapore. They were struggling with mental health, and their parents didn’t have an idea of how bad it actually was. Then I read the comment section. Someone expressed his/her disappointment with human being, saying that no person can be trusted (I think he/she was also dealing with mental health). Then I thought, yeah, you’re right. We’re human, and human make mistakes. It’s human nature and people change and so, it’s irrational to believe that there are other people who are perfect for you, who know completely who you are. I know it by experience. I know how it feels to get hurt and lose my faith in my family and friends. I thought they understand me, but I was wrong. It happened during my early 30s and I’ll admit, it was so naive and stupid of me to think that way.

As an adult, nobody should know you better than you know yourself. As I’ve written in my earlier posts, you should have known yourself better during your 20s — the age when you reach adulthood. This is important especially when dealing with mental issues. I will add something to this: you have to have something to hold on, something to believe in, something that will keep your mind straight no matter how hard you struggle in life. Whether it’s hope, faith, God, values of humanity, whatever. It may not necessarily something that will make you feel happier, but it should be something that will make you feel at peace and content. That is what you should aim first: feeling content and at peace with yourself, no matter what you’re going through. It may not resonate with you and I don’t mean to belittle your suffering, but for me and in my faith, we believe that everything happened in life is all temporary, and there’s always a reason for it. So there’s hope. There’s always hope.

When you’re struggling with your mental health, don’t do this mistake: assuming that there are no one that you can talk to. There’s always someone to talk to — a good friend once gave me that advice. Wait, didn’t I tell you that the person who you should trust is yourself only?

Both statements are true. You’ve got to trust yourself and no one else. It’s your life. But you should definitely talk to someone for inputs. I know the feeling that talking to someone else is useless, and no one else can understand me. But still, you’ve got to talk to someone else to help you clear your mind, help you reframe your situation, and help you to see the issue from a different point of view. Maybe you missed something here or there, maybe he/she had the same experience in the past, or who knows he/she can give you advice that resonates with you. When struggling with mental health, it’s so easy to get your mind go crazy and fixated on the negative thoughts, and talking to someone else will help you distract your mind from those thoughts, as long as you choose the right person.

When dealing with mental issues, it may need a lot of contemplation to have your mindset shifted into a more positive side and leave all those negative thoughts behind, and nobody else can do this but yourself.

Remember, there’s always hope.

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Surya Surya

Surya Surya

Indonesian — my writing is always work in progress.